June 2012
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the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Me: Oh my god this blog is amazing! Me: lol Me:*scrolling* Me:lolol Me:*scrolling* Me:OMG WTF ROFL I’M DYING! Me: Oh wait, this is my blog.
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girlinlondon:
if you’re reading this it means you have an excellent taste for blogs
May 2012
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So, if it's 4:50am my time...
receiver:
…then it’s almost 6 on the East Coast, and only 2 on the West, but Tumblr is dead? What? And where’s Lottie? :-)
Lottie has had 3 hours sleep and is terribly hungover, so literally all that I’m capable of is scrolling…
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twatlinson:
do you ever look at your url and are like damn that’s a good url
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beyoncebeytwice:
i don’t think we’re using this site the way it was intended to be used
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my tumblr relationships
me: omfg ily i swear we're like long lost twins or something your blog is my life
me: also what is your name
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Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
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patkirch:
imagine if you went to a restaurant and when they said “can i take your order” you just said “no” and walked out
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caballe replied to your post: shorterexcerpts replied to your photo: This is HOT…
inconsiderate to your followers who remain in the commonwealth t b h
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shorterexcerpts replied to your photo: This is HOT for our little island, y’all. So…
I thought y’all used Celsius?
We do :) But seeing as the majority of my disciples followers are from that side of the puddle, I thought I’d swap it around to save using your brain parts so early in the day.
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kanyelujah:
face-down-asgard-up:
dolceaficionada:
SNL - All of Stefon’s New York’s Hottest Clubs
be my future ex-husband, bill.
the spicy one kills me
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